sometimes i get totally overwhelmed with my sense of need to have people listen to me - whether it is a person, dog, computer, blog, or hampster, it doesn't really matter. i just like it when people listened me. i am not going to lie - i like to hear the sound of my voice or read the words of my mind.
but after sharing my feelings to the person, blog, dog, or hampster, i often then get analyzing and i start feeling really self conscious - self conscious about opening up so much; about sharing so much without any restrain.
it is always easier to listen to some one at church when they almost cry, but then show self-restraint and hold on to their emotions. but when someone just starts sobbing and blobbing at the pulpit, sometimes it is harder to take them seriously. at least that is what a byu professor told me once. and he was a smart polish teacher and new ann, or was it alison. he had lots of toy dolls from some country. he showed them all to me in his office and it took a long time. when i left his office he gave me a hug - i wasn't sure if i should feel uncomfortable or touched - but when i found out he had been a mission president, it made more sense that he would give me a hug when i left his office.
so after you guys all did these short blogs last week and i saw the 6 page blog i did, and i thought, "self. this needs to end!" and it didn't help that i was feeling very discouraged with my recent acl surgery, but i deleted the entire site and blog this morning at 3 a.m.
after much debate, i have decided to reinstate the blog. so, after its short leave of obscenity, I mean leave of absence for a long departure of roughly 12 hours, the ballstaedt family blog is finally back!!!! back and better than ever!!!!
so, feel free to write what ever you want this week - or any week for that matter. feel free to have a possibility that you can have an outlet for your need to share.
if you are jon and joe reading this you probably see a trend in my life - like every six weeks i call jon or joe to see if they have a few girls numbers that i deleted on my cell phone. often jon and joe and i have the same girl friends. not like girl friends that we kiss, but girls that are our friends.
sometimes we kiss them though. that happens when you are 28 - you start kissing girls - i mean you start hanging out with your little brothers girl friends that are like 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 years younger than you. the wonderful thing is, that even being bald, 28, and single, often these girls like me.
well, you probably didn't know the blog was gone, but it is back and better than ever. take this week and tell everyone about yourself. don't give into self consciousness - if nobody else listens to your rants and feelings, know, that when you write on this blog, there will be one person that reads your feelings - me!!!! i am a compulsive writer and i like the idea that a blog allows me, and you, to write something, and possibly have an audience.
don't we all want an audience. haven't we all dreamed of being back in our 9th grade talent show and singing "hello darkness my old friend" by Simon and garfunkel, and wooing all the girls like dan chappel did when i was in 9th grade at butler elementary.
peace. peace to me, your mother, and your brother.
Good job andrew. I was dissapointed that you erased the blog but I figured sooner or later you would put it back up. I randomly checked to see if it was up and sure enough it was.
The funniest thing about you deleting girls number from your phone is the second time you delete them - this time you usually tell someone else to save the number for you in case you want it later on. Kind of like when you begged Carol for her friends number becauseo you had deleted it and then you got it and the next day you texted the number to me to keep it safe for you in case you wanted it because you were going to delete it again.
Oh, I am number 8 and I like it becuase by the time parents get to child number 8, they have pretty much stopped freaking out about raising kids and let them do what they want. That is nice.
Andrew, I'm glad the blog is back up. I was sad it was gone. I think it's a fun way to keep in touch with others in the fam and know what is going on. I think it's fun to get to know everyone better and to know more about them. I'm sure that Ann will even write on it when she gets her house set up and everything . . . at least I think she will!
Thanks Andrew. The blog is a great idea!
When I called Mom just now and she said she was about to write on the blog I thought that was really cool.
We just need Amy and Jason to get the Internet so they can perticipate in the blog. It would be fun to hear from them!
More options 6:01 pm (41 minutes ago) This blog is great. My mom used to read me church adventure stories before she left my room at night. I used to have to go to bed at 7 p.m.She always hoped I would fall asleep as she read but I was never tired. My worst experience with bed time was when Arlene Billings tended for us when my parents went to Europe for two weeks. My mom had been letting me stay up until 8:30 because it was summer and I was older. I asked Arlene if while she tended I could stay up until that time and she said "No, you may not." So I went and asked my mom and she said "Yes." I went back and told Arlene and she said, For every minute you are late to bed after 8 p.m., the next night you have to go to bed two minutes earlier." I was miserable. I knew I had tried the old trick of if one adult says no go ask another adult but it seemed so unfair. Arlene used to make me put mentholatum on my lips every night because they were always chapped and bright red because I licked them. I also had to brush my teeth and of course I always knelt down and said my prayers. I never question praying after mother taught me to kneel down and I never missed because I knew I was showing Heavenly Father that I loved him. I loved the religious stories mother read. That is why I have always tried to read the children something religious at night because it strengthened my testimony.
hey family - look above - i posted moms blog for her. she thought she had posted the blog but really she had just sent me her blog in an email. she must have gotten confused - so many things to learn in one day - i mean the other day after my knee surgery i taught mom how to use email and the blog - that is a lot to learn for a mom who was born in the 50's. i mean i remember 10 years ago i met this lady at a baptist youth conference - she was like 60 - but me and taylor ballstaedt had gone there to meet cute baptists girls - and so, somehow i started talking to this old baptist lady from like maryland. i asked her if she new the marriotts - because my mom was a marriot from washington d.c. - and she told me that she knew tooey marriott - who happened to be moms cousin. the 60 year old lady asked me for my email address, and this was only back in 1996, and i responded to the old 60 year old woman from maryland: "what is an email address?" now, 10 years later, i feel so stupid. how could i have not known what email was. but it is kind of a technological revolution - the internet and email - and mom is new to email as well. when i had my acl surgery i decided that mom loves to communicate with her 12 children, and that if she loves that, she would LOVE email. so stop!!!!!!!
look up to the previous entry to see what mom said on her first blog entry that by accident she sent to me in an email.
My old roommate mentioned that we needed to put the utilities in our name a couple weeks ago, but didn't really say anything about it thereafter. I asked him last Sunday if he needed help moving out. He said no. A couple days later he disappeared and the power turned off. We called him a couple times but he never answered. He is 25 I think, but finally had his father call us to explain that his son had turned the power off. I think they wanted to blame us for not paying. I talked to the guy every day and he never mentioned anything about the power. I am glad that I didn't marry him last Tuesday (poor girl that did!). Actually, he is a really nice guy--he's just a pansy when it comes to communicating.
My name is Joseph Ballstaedt and if you have a problem with me but just run away and turn the power off, I'll think you are quite pitiful.
joe i sense that you might need to get some of your feelings out about roomate tension. did you know they have roomate thearpists in the wilkinson center. i went to them all the time. they are great. they talk to you about making your roomates bed when he is in the shower, and making them scrambled eggs too. and then they give you lunch, or what ever meal according to the relative meal, and they ask you to practice being kind to your roomate while you eat together. it is a great program.
i think there there are a few things i hate about provo - not many - but let me tell you the main reason i love byu - i love byu because any place you go, any place you call, like the information phone number where i got many girls phone numbers - and my brain teased me about why the girls whose number i was looking up might hang up the phone after talking to me and say, laughing to her roomates, "stocker net" but the reason i love byu is because all the student workers are so nice!!!! you can't call anywhere on campus without talking to some student worker who is extremely nice - and i sometimes have to ask myself "self - is this nice person being sarchastic with me and just acting nice?" but after 6 years at byu, i have come to learn that all the student employees on campus are just nice.
things i hate about provo: - when those guys "boot" your car and never ever have mercy and you have to pay 50 dollars in cash to get the metal clamp off your tire - cleaning checks - trying to collect money from my roomates for the light bill
the mean ticket inforcer in provo - i like him - he is this old guy that was probably in the military. when you get a parking ticket you can ether pay it, or try and appeal it to the mean military guy. i got a parking ticket for parking in the red zone by the Harris Fine Arts Center. i was trying to unload some paintings so i didn't have to carry the paintings accross campus - and i got a 15 dollar ticket. i knew i was in the wrong - but money was tight - 15 dollars tight - and i went to the mean man military appeal guy. i wrote out my appeal. i said " i parked illegally but i have a pretty decent parking record. could you please make my fee lower"
i think the guy looked up at me, really seriously, with his white nicely combed old man hair, and he looked me right in the eyes - and he paused - then he said "in all my years of doing parking tickets at byu - you are the only one that has ever been guilty of a parking ticket. everyone else has a reason why they aren't guilty." then he gave me a big hug and started sobbing like a baby. just kidding. he didn't start hugging me or crying, but he did make me only pay 5 dollars instead of 15. man, you forget you much 10 dollars means, but it meant a lot to me at that time in my life, and i was so thankful that he had reduced my fee. i think he said he has never not made someone pay their parking fee, but when they admit guilt, which is rare, he then will give them a reduced ticket. that is not saying much about me - i feel guilty about anything - even if i didn't do it. i even like to feel guilty for other people when they don't see the need to feel guilty.
do you think the story would have been more powerful if he forgave me my debt all the way, or if it stayed like it happened - he only made me pay 5 dollars instead of 10? i kind of think it is better when he reduces the fee - i learned more that way - but had i been the old man - i probably would have been a push over. i am a push over - even with student teaching - if a student told me they did an assignment i would say "ok." then i would give them almost full credit - even if it were 7 or 12 weeks late. that is why i have decided i cannot be a teacher - and that is why i have decided to be "army strong" i am joining the army!!!!!!!
I only have one problem with Provo. Here it is: I don't like very many girls, but the ones I do like have boyfriends. I just got back from talking to this girl for a couple hours whose boyfriend is in Europe. She would go out with me if she weren't dating him, but that doesn't makes things better.
The girl that I brought to our house on that group date--the soccer girl. Yeah, she has a boyfriend but wants to branch out or something.
And a girl I've been out with a few times these past weeks--I got her number from my friend when he was dating her. I would tease him all the time about her, saying that I wanted to date her. In my phone I put her in as "Karen Will Be Mine" just to annoy him. And when they stopped dating I kept text-messaging her flirty messages. And then we really went on some dates, but I don't think that I like her. I guess it would help if she were dating my friend still.
Actually, I really want to tell the girl I was with tonight that she should just date me. She practically says that she isn't content with him. she enjoys being with me--well, I laugh at her and she enjoys that. Her boyfriend is great, but kind of dry, she hints.
Anyway, that's the problem with BYU. Everyone is taken. And if they aren't, you don't want to date them.
Maybe you should have gotten a girlfriend (even if you didn't like her) just so that girls would have liked you more. If you would have, I would have been more attracted to you if I had been one of those girl.
Andrew. This is the funniest thing I have read all day: "i even like to feel guilty for other people when they don't see the need to feel guilty."
That is classic--tells so much about you. Hilarious.
hey joe i missed you when you went on your mission. and i love it when you come home on sundays - so that proves that people do miss you. it gets lonely at our house with out jon and joe to play smash brothers at night.
advice: joe i think you need to tell that girl with the boyfriend what is up. tell her that she is going to date you now. do it. that would be so cool.
Tell her to date you! Or, just show up at her house, work etc and take her to lunch. Make is seem like you are more informal if she is worried about her boyfriend. Really being confident is a big key. Also, you don't want her to think you really really like her--but that she is a cool girl. If she thinks you totally want her--then she sill be turned off. Thats my advice. Be Confident that you are better than any boyfriend!
18 comments:
sometimes i get totally overwhelmed with my sense of need to have people listen to me - whether it is a person, dog, computer, blog, or hampster, it doesn't really matter. i just like it when people listened me. i am not going to lie - i like to hear the sound of my voice or read the words of my mind.
but after sharing my feelings to the person, blog, dog, or hampster, i often then get analyzing and i start feeling really self conscious - self conscious about opening up so much; about sharing so much without any restrain.
it is always easier to listen to some one at church when they almost cry, but then show self-restraint and hold on to their emotions. but when someone just starts sobbing and blobbing at the pulpit, sometimes it is harder to take them seriously. at least that is what a byu professor told me once. and he was a smart polish teacher and new ann, or was it alison. he had lots of toy dolls from some country. he showed them all to me in his office and it took a long time. when i left his office he gave me a hug - i wasn't sure if i should feel uncomfortable or touched - but when i found out he had been a mission president, it made more sense that he would give me a hug when i left his office.
so after you guys all did these short blogs last week and i saw the 6 page blog i did, and i thought, "self. this needs to end!" and it didn't help that i was feeling very discouraged with my recent acl surgery, but i deleted the entire site and blog this morning at 3 a.m.
after much debate, i have decided to reinstate the blog. so, after its short leave of obscenity, I mean leave of absence for a long departure of roughly 12 hours, the ballstaedt family blog is finally back!!!! back and better than ever!!!!
so, feel free to write what ever you want this week - or any week for that matter. feel free to have a possibility that you can have an outlet for your need to share.
if you are jon and joe reading this you probably see a trend in my life - like every six weeks i call jon or joe to see if they have a few girls numbers that i deleted on my cell phone. often jon and joe and i have the same girl friends. not like girl friends that we kiss, but girls that are our friends.
sometimes we kiss them though. that happens when you are 28 - you start kissing girls - i mean you start hanging out with your little brothers girl friends that are like 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 years younger than you. the wonderful thing is, that even being bald, 28, and single, often these girls like me.
well, you probably didn't know the blog was gone, but it is back and better than ever. take this week and tell everyone about yourself. don't give into self consciousness - if nobody else listens to your rants and feelings, know, that when you write on this blog, there will be one person that reads your feelings - me!!!! i am a compulsive writer and i like the idea that a blog allows me, and you, to write something, and possibly have an audience.
don't we all want an audience. haven't we all dreamed of being back in our 9th grade talent show and singing "hello darkness my old friend" by Simon and garfunkel, and wooing all the girls like dan chappel did when i was in 9th grade at butler elementary.
peace. peace to me, your mother, and your brother.
Good job andrew. I was dissapointed that you erased the blog but I figured sooner or later you would put it back up. I randomly checked to see if it was up and sure enough it was.
The funniest thing about you deleting girls number from your phone is the second time you delete them - this time you usually tell someone else to save the number for you in case you want it later on. Kind of like when you begged Carol for her friends number becauseo you had deleted it and then you got it and the next day you texted the number to me to keep it safe for you in case you wanted it because you were going to delete it again.
Oh, I am number 8 and I like it becuase by the time parents get to child number 8, they have pretty much stopped freaking out about raising kids and let them do what they want. That is nice.
Andrew, I'm glad the blog is back up. I was sad it was gone. I think it's a fun way to keep in touch with others in the fam and know what is going on. I think it's fun to get to know everyone better and to know more about them. I'm sure that Ann will even write on it when she gets her house set up and everything . . . at least I think she will!
Thanks Andrew. The blog is a great idea!
When I called Mom just now and she said she was about to write on the blog I thought that was really cool.
We just need Amy and Jason to get the Internet so they can perticipate in the blog. It would be fun to hear from them!
LOVE YOU ALL!
Alison
judy ballstaedt wrote:
More options 6:01 pm (41 minutes ago)
This blog is great. My mom used to read me church adventure stories before she left my room at night. I used to have to go to bed at 7 p.m.She always hoped I would fall asleep as she read but I was never tired. My worst experience with bed time was when Arlene Billings tended for us when my parents went to Europe for two weeks. My mom had been letting me stay up until 8:30 because it was summer and I was older. I asked Arlene if while she tended I could stay up until that time and she said "No, you may not." So I went and asked my mom and she said "Yes." I went back and told Arlene and she said, For every minute you are late to bed after 8 p.m., the next night you have to go to bed two minutes earlier." I was miserable. I knew I had tried the old trick of if one adult says no go ask another adult but it seemed so unfair. Arlene used to make me put mentholatum on my lips every night because they were always chapped and bright red because I licked them. I also had to brush my teeth and of course I always knelt down and said my prayers. I never question praying after mother taught me to kneel down and I never missed because I knew I was showing Heavenly Father that I loved him. I loved the religious stories mother read. That is why I have always tried to read the children something religious at night because it strengthened my testimony.
MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM
hey family - look above - i posted moms blog for her. she thought she had posted the blog but really she had just sent me her blog in an email. she must have gotten confused - so many things to learn in one day - i mean the other day after my knee surgery i taught mom how to use email and the blog - that is a lot to learn for a mom who was born in the 50's. i mean i remember 10 years ago i met this lady at a baptist youth conference - she was like 60 - but me and taylor ballstaedt had gone there to meet cute baptists girls - and so, somehow i started talking to this old baptist lady from like maryland. i asked her if she new the marriotts - because my mom was a marriot from washington d.c. - and she told me that she knew tooey marriott - who happened to be moms cousin. the 60 year old lady asked me for my email address, and this was only back in 1996, and i responded to the old 60 year old woman from maryland: "what is an email address?" now, 10 years later, i feel so stupid. how could i have not known what email was. but it is kind of a technological revolution - the internet and email - and mom is new to email as well. when i had my acl surgery i decided that mom loves to communicate with her 12 children, and that if she loves that, she would LOVE email. so stop!!!!!!!
look up to the previous entry to see what mom said on her first blog entry that by accident she sent to me in an email.
MOM mom MOM mom MOM mom MOM mom MOM mom MOM mom MOM mom MOM mom
mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom
MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM
look above to see what mom wrote in her first blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so glad the blog is back!
My old roommate mentioned that we needed to put the utilities in our name a couple weeks ago, but didn't really say anything about it thereafter. I asked him last Sunday if he needed help moving out. He said no. A couple days later he disappeared and the power turned off. We called him a couple times but he never answered. He is 25 I think, but finally had his father call us to explain that his son had turned the power off. I think they wanted to blame us for not paying. I talked to the guy every day and he never mentioned anything about the power. I am glad that I didn't marry him last Tuesday (poor girl that did!). Actually, he is a really nice guy--he's just a pansy when it comes to communicating.
My name is Joseph Ballstaedt and if you have a problem with me but just run away and turn the power off, I'll think you are quite pitiful.
That is so lame that he would do that! I guess he was off in la la land with his bride to be.
Isn't this a fun way to communicate!
I like hearing about everyone's life. Joe, that's a bummer about your roomate. Dang.
joe
i sense that you might need to get some of your feelings out about roomate tension. did you know they have roomate thearpists in the wilkinson center. i went to them all the time. they are great. they talk to you about making your roomates bed when he is in the shower, and making them scrambled eggs too. and then they give you lunch, or what ever meal according to the relative meal, and they ask you to practice being kind to your roomate while you eat together. it is a great program.
i think there there are a few things i hate about provo - not many - but let me tell you the main reason i love byu - i love byu because any place you go, any place you call, like the information phone number where i got many girls phone numbers - and my brain teased me about why the girls whose number i was looking up might hang up the phone after talking to me and say, laughing to her roomates, "stocker net" but the reason i love byu is because all the student workers are so nice!!!! you can't call anywhere on campus without talking to some student worker who is extremely nice - and i sometimes have to ask myself "self - is this nice person being sarchastic with me and just acting nice?" but after 6 years at byu, i have come to learn that all the student employees on campus are just nice.
things i hate about provo:
- when those guys "boot" your car and never ever have mercy and you have to pay 50 dollars in cash to get the metal clamp off your tire
- cleaning checks
- trying to collect money from my roomates for the light bill
the mean ticket inforcer in provo - i like him - he is this old guy that was probably in the military. when you get a parking ticket you can ether pay it, or try and appeal it to the mean military guy. i got a parking ticket for parking in the red zone by the Harris Fine Arts Center. i was trying to unload some paintings so i didn't have to carry the paintings accross campus - and i got a 15 dollar ticket. i knew i was in the wrong - but money was tight - 15 dollars tight - and i went to the mean man military appeal guy. i wrote out my appeal. i said " i parked illegally but i have a pretty decent parking record. could you please make my fee lower"
i think the guy looked up at me, really seriously, with his white nicely combed old man hair, and he looked me right in the eyes - and he paused - then he said "in all my years of doing parking tickets at byu - you are the only one that has ever been guilty of a parking ticket. everyone else has a reason why they aren't guilty." then he gave me a big hug and started sobbing like a baby. just kidding. he didn't start hugging me or crying, but he did make me only pay 5 dollars instead of 15. man, you forget you much 10 dollars means, but it meant a lot to me at that time in my life, and i was so thankful that he had reduced my fee. i think he said he has never not made someone pay their parking fee, but when they admit guilt, which is rare, he then will give them a reduced ticket. that is not saying much about me - i feel guilty about anything - even if i didn't do it. i even like to feel guilty for other people when they don't see the need to feel guilty.
do you think the story would have been more powerful if he forgave me my debt all the way, or if it stayed like it happened - he only made me pay 5 dollars instead of 10? i kind of think it is better when he reduces the fee - i learned more that way - but had i been the old man - i probably would have been a push over. i am a push over - even with student teaching - if a student told me they did an assignment i would say "ok." then i would give them almost full credit - even if it were 7 or 12 weeks late. that is why i have decided i cannot be a teacher - and that is why i have decided to be "army strong" i am joining the army!!!!!!!
joe
i am glad you didn't marry your roomate too.
Andrew,
I only have one problem with Provo. Here it is: I don't like very many girls, but the ones I do like have boyfriends. I just got back from talking to this girl for a couple hours whose boyfriend is in Europe. She would go out with me if she weren't dating him, but that doesn't makes things better.
The girl that I brought to our house on that group date--the soccer girl. Yeah, she has a boyfriend but wants to branch out or something.
And a girl I've been out with a few times these past weeks--I got her number from my friend when he was dating her. I would tease him all the time about her, saying that I wanted to date her. In my phone I put her in as "Karen Will Be Mine" just to annoy him. And when they stopped dating I kept text-messaging her flirty messages. And then we really went on some dates, but I don't think that I like her. I guess it would help if she were dating my friend still.
Actually, I really want to tell the girl I was with tonight that she should just date me. She practically says that she isn't content with him. she enjoys being with me--well, I laugh at her and she enjoys that. Her boyfriend is great, but kind of dry, she hints.
Anyway, that's the problem with BYU. Everyone is taken. And if they aren't, you don't want to date them.
Maybe you should have gotten a girlfriend (even if you didn't like her) just so that girls would have liked you more. If you would have, I would have been more attracted to you if I had been one of those girl.
Andrew. This is the funniest thing I have read all day: "i even like to feel guilty for other people when they don't see the need to feel guilty."
That is classic--tells so much about you. Hilarious.
hey joe
i missed you when you went on your mission. and i love it when you come home on sundays - so that proves that people do miss you. it gets lonely at our house with out jon and joe to play smash brothers at night.
advice:
joe i think you need to tell that girl with the boyfriend what is up. tell her that she is going to date you now. do it. that would be so cool.
Yes
Tell her to date you! Or, just show up at her house, work etc and take her to lunch. Make is seem like you are more informal if she is worried about her boyfriend. Really being confident is a big key. Also, you don't want her to think you really really like her--but that she is a cool girl. If she thinks you totally want her--then she sill be turned off.
Thats my advice. Be Confident that you are better than any boyfriend!
Abi
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