when i went to the byu notre dame game in south bend indiana i was in the notre dame book store after the game. i saw a cute girl sitting next to the wall and i decided to sit by her and try and flirt with her. i end up talking to her. her friend then showed up and found out i was mormon and she gave me this big hug out of the blue and excitedly told me "i love mormons - i hoped i would see a mormon here!"
as it turned out the mormon loving girl wasn't interested in keeping in touch with me but the nice pretty girl that i had sat by - her name was megan. she ended up being very sweet and we have been writing to each other for almost 2 years. she now has a serious boyfriend so she gave me the email to her sister. the email below is one of the emails from megans sister who is called Lauren. i was asking lauren about her beliefs as a catholic. she brought up a point that transcends all religions; a question about having children. she said, " . . . As far as your siblings having fewer children than your parents - I wonder if a lot now a days has to do with money?"
what do you guys think of this statement? share your feelings about this topic, or share your feelings about a previous topic, but please, please, share something!!!!!
Hi Andrew,
Well With Catholics it is up to the family how many children they have. However, the Church is strictly against birth control because they feel it interferes with God's will, and that the couple is not open to children because with birth control the woman can't conceive while on the pill. So even though the Catholic Church is against it some people are still on birth control. They feel that all couples should practice NFP, which uses the women’s natural signs, and her temperatures to either achieve or prevent pregnancy. It's pretty interesting the science of it all.
What is the age span in your family? That is so cute the vote for the largest family thing! Wow 20 nieces and nephews you must love that! I just have my one nephew and can't get enough of him! He is adorable. Meg has probably told you about the little guy. As far as your siblings having fewer children than your parents I wonder if a lot now a days has to do with money. I think it would be beautiful to have a big family and have a very helpful supportive husband.
Well, it is pretty hard to compare anybody to Mom and Dad. There are a lot more factors than money that keep you from having a dozen kids.
Overall, LDS couples seem to be waiting longer and having less children. I think that it has little to do with money and more to do with things like faith and selfishness, to put it bluntly.
If somebody sets me up with a beautiful woman that I end up marrying, we'll name our firstborn after you!
after my mission I remember getting in a heated debate with a girl that justin mellen was dating. i was trying to explain to justin and his girlfriend that according to the prophet, and i showed them some president benson article that mom and eliza gave me, that couples should not wait to have children - that it is selfish for a couple to wait to have kids so that they have some time to, "get to know each other."
it seemed so clear to me - that when a man and a woman got married they should immediately begin having children - it all seemed so clear because the prophet had spoken.
i always expected that i would get married relatively quickly after my mission, like at age 21 or 22, and then i would follow the prophets council to have as many kids as i could.
as it turns out, i am 28 and not married. i want to be an artist and that means i would be self-employed. until i start making money i will have to pay a lot for health insurance. kids will be very expensive.
basically, i think it is hard to be judgmental of people who wait to have kids. where i once was arguing with justin and his girlfriend about how the prophets had told us not to wait to have children, now i sometimes wonder if i might not want to wait to have kids when i first get married.
i have loved growing up in a big family. i absolutely love being from a large family. so i think i want to have as many kids as i can. i do think the expenses of having children would stress me out though. i imagine when push came to shove it would be hard to get mom out of my mind - i know she would say something to me like, "if you have kids - god will support you and bless you to be able to pay for them." how can i think of mom and not have kids - lots of kids? i guess the bottom line is that i will have to wait until i talk to my wife about the kid situation.
"i guess the bottom line is that i will have to wait until i talk to my wife about the kid situation."
That made me laugh.
I think it is a lot of things. The world is a different place now than it was 25 years ago when I was born. Gone are the days of letting your kids go outside to play all day and never knowing where they are....unless you live on a farm in wyoming or something. I think that that makes a difference.
Also, people are getting married later...a lot of couples I know have fertitily problems and are hurt by people asking why they haven't started a family (when they have been trying for several years). I loved growing up in a big family, but I think it't between you, your spouse and the Lord on stuff like that. It's personal.
I remember someone calling me and lecturing me on why I wasn't pregnant yet when I had been married less than a year. This was hurtful because I was pregant (barely...but hadn't told people yet) and would have liked to be pregnant sooner--I think it is easy to judge someone when you don't know all of the facts.
I have a friend who had to space her kids out 4 years because of depression. There are so many reasons that I can think of.
I think that kids really are the greatest blessing. They do take a lot of work. People might think that they couldn't handle more kids. I don't know.
I have no memory of Mother and me at anytime before or since we were married ever discussing how many children we would have. I also have no memory of our ever worrying about the cost of having children. It just seemed like a given fact that we would find a way to take care of the children as they came because that is what we wanted.
I do, however, remember that Mother got a migraine headache one day not long after we became engaged when I told her I thought we should not wait to start our family. I, of course, had no idea what I was talking about at the time, and I'm quite certain that Mother didn't really understand what she was getting a headache over.
You all are to be commended for having any children. One child takes so much time and attention. I always thought Heavenly Father gave me so many children so that I would learn to be unselfish. Abi the same problems existed when we got married. A lot of our friends who waited at first and then decided they wanted children had a hard time having children when they wanted them. I think that is why Pres. Benson said to have your children early. I had no idea before Amy was born how much it would mean to me to be a mother. When we almost lost her at her premature birth I remember thinking, "This is so much more important than I thought it was." It meant so much to me to be a mother. If I had waited I might not have realized that and maybe we would have missed one of you. I remember Eliza wondered why I hadn't told her how hard it was-all the work of being a mother. I guess the work was so rewarding that I forgot to mention that it was hard. I was so tired at night. It seemed I worked until the minute I went to bed. I didn't want any child to miss the love or the teaching I could give them. We made it our first priority to teach you the gospel of Jesus Christ so that you would know you were a child of God. We knew that we were children raising children and that you would need to know how to talk to your perfect Father and rely on his teachings to get your best answers. He has known you much longer and loves you better and understands how you feel with a perfect understanding. We love you but he knows with a perfect understanding what is best for you When each child was born I felt the additional responsibility. I noticed every friend that came over. I wasn't one of these mothers who said "After you have 3 what's one more." I wanted each of you to know how special you were. We had no outside interest, no other friends. You are our world, our loves and our best friends. We love you better than you love us because we have served you, laughed with you and cried with and for you. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not thinking of your needs and your welfare. Thank you for trusting us enough to let us be your parents. Love, Mom
You all are to be commended for having any children. One child takes so much time and attention. I always thought Heavenly Father gave me so many children so that I would learn to be unselfish. Just when I would start to get comfortable we would have another baby and another adjustment and loose any time to ourselves. Abi the same problems existed when we got married with couples not being able to have children. A lot of our friends who waited at first and then decided they wanted children had a hard time having children when they wanted them. I think that is why Pres. Benson said to have your children early while a woman’s body is younger and stronger. I had no idea before Amy was born how much it would mean to me to be a mother. When we almost lost her at her premature birth I remember thinking, "This is so much more important than I ever thought it was." It meant so much to me to be a mother. If I had waited to have children I might not have realized that and maybe we would have missed one of you. I remember Eliza wondered why I hadn't told her how hard it was-all the work of being a mother. I guess the work was so rewarding that I forgot to mention that it was hard. I was so tired at night. It seemed I worked until the minute I went to bed. I didn't want any child to miss the love or the teaching I could give them. We made it our first priority to teach you the gospel of Jesus Christ so that you would know you were a child of God. We knew that we as your parents were inexperienced children who were trying to learn fast enough to teach and raise our own children. We knew that you would need to know how to talk to your perfect Heavenly Father and rely on his teachings to get your best answers. We made lots of mistakes but Heavenly Father doesn’t make mistakes. You can trust him completely. He has known you much longer and loves you better and understands how you feel with a perfect understanding. We love you but he knows with a perfect understanding what is best for you. When each child was born I felt the additional responsibility. I noticed every friend that came over. I wasn't one of these mothers who said "After you have 3 what's one more." I wanted each of you to know how special you were. We had no outside interest, no other friends. You are our best friends. We love you better than you love us because we have served you, laughed with you and cried with and prayed for you. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not thinking of your needs and your welfare. Thank you for trusting us enough to let us be your parents. Love, Mom
Soon after I delivered Elizabeth I was playing the piano and I paused for a second and turned around to look at Mark who was watching me. He said to me...I just have a feeling we won't have a lot of kids. Bewildered I said, "what makes you think that?"....he said, "I just don't know how many we can handle." Then I said, "well how many is not that many?" and he said, "I can't picture us having more than 8!" That is when I knew growing up in a big family had gotten to him. I was like 8!! That is a TON of kids! We still joke about that. I think Abi is right. The first year we were trying to have kids SO many people teased us about having them....I remember once a cousin told me that we should start having them and I wanted to scream "WE ARE TRYING!" Anyway, I feel so blessed to have the girls we have. Every child is a blessing. I don't know how Mom and Dad Ballstaedt did it, but part of me will always be envious that they welcomed that many children to earth. What a neat experience!
Mom is right, I did ask her why she didn't tell me how hard it was to have children. I always looked forward to being a mother and having children. It was such a shock in the hospital when I had Jacob. I was so emotional and thought I would have a nervous breakdown. BUT, it got better....and worse. I never thought I would have twelve children like mom. I also have never thought obout the money. For me it is all emotional, how much we can handle. I think what we can each handle is different. And it is not just a decison for me, it is a decision to make with your husband. I do however want to have all the children Heavenly Father wants me to have. I would hate to miss out on one of my kids.
Mom, what you wrote was so sweet--I hope you have that printed out or stored in your journal because I would like to keep that always.--I don't have a printer or I would print it myself.
I have never thought of the money with kids either--like Eliza said--the other demands of children are what I think about. They don't keep me from having children, but when I am 6 1/2months pregnant I wonder how I'm going to meet the demands of a newborn plus my other 3 little ones--and keep myself and husband healthy and sane at the same time!
That's why mom and dad are so special--because yes, mom,you are definitely unselfish---but I don't think it's because you had so many kids--you would have been that way anyway. For a lot of women twelve children wouldn't keep them unselfish--it would put them in a loony bin :) Thanks for giving up everything for us.
12 comments:
when i went to the byu notre dame game in south bend indiana i was in the notre dame book store after the game. i saw a cute girl sitting next to the wall and i decided to sit by her and try and flirt with her. i end up talking to her. her friend then showed up and found out i was mormon and she gave me this big hug out of the blue and excitedly told me "i love mormons - i hoped i would see a mormon here!"
as it turned out the mormon loving girl wasn't interested in keeping in touch with me but the nice pretty girl that i had sat by - her name was megan. she ended up being very sweet and we have been writing to each other for almost 2 years. she now has a serious boyfriend so she gave me the email to her sister. the email below is one of the emails from megans sister who is called Lauren. i was asking lauren about her beliefs as a catholic. she brought up a point that transcends all religions; a question about having children. she said, " . . . As far as your siblings having fewer children than your parents - I wonder if a lot now a days has to do with money?"
what do you guys think of this statement? share your feelings about this topic, or share your feelings about a previous topic, but please, please, share something!!!!!
Hi Andrew,
Well With Catholics it is up to the family how many children they have. However, the Church is strictly against birth control because they feel it interferes with God's will, and that the couple is not open to children because with birth control the woman can't conceive while on the pill. So even though the Catholic Church is against it some people are still on birth control. They feel that all couples should practice NFP, which uses the women’s natural signs, and her temperatures to either achieve or prevent pregnancy. It's pretty interesting the science of it all.
What is the age span in your family? That is so cute the vote for the largest family thing! Wow 20 nieces and nephews you must love that! I just have my one nephew and can't get enough of him! He is adorable. Meg has probably told you about the little guy. As far as your siblings having fewer children than your parents I wonder if a lot now a days has to do with money. I think it would be beautiful to have a big family and have a very helpful supportive husband.
Lauren
Well, it is pretty hard to compare anybody to Mom and Dad. There are a lot more factors than money that keep you from having a dozen kids.
Overall, LDS couples seem to be waiting longer and having less children. I think that it has little to do with money and more to do with things like faith and selfishness, to put it bluntly.
If somebody sets me up with a beautiful woman that I end up marrying, we'll name our firstborn after you!
after my mission I remember getting in a heated debate with a girl that justin mellen was dating. i was trying to explain to justin and his girlfriend that according to the prophet, and i showed them some president benson article that mom and eliza gave me, that couples should not wait to have children - that it is selfish for a couple to wait to have kids so that they have some time to, "get to know each other."
it seemed so clear to me - that when a man and a woman got married they should immediately begin having children - it all seemed so clear because the prophet had spoken.
i always expected that i would get married relatively quickly after my mission, like at age 21 or 22, and then i would follow the prophets council to have as many kids as i could.
as it turns out, i am 28 and not married. i want to be an artist and that means i would be self-employed. until i start making money i will have to pay a lot for health insurance. kids will be very expensive.
basically, i think it is hard to be judgmental of people who wait to have kids. where i once was arguing with justin and his girlfriend about how the prophets had told us not to wait to have children, now i sometimes wonder if i might not want to wait to have kids when i first get married.
i have loved growing up in a big family. i absolutely love being from a large family. so i think i want to have as many kids as i can. i do think the expenses of having children would stress me out though. i imagine when push came to shove it would be hard to get mom out of my mind - i know she would say something to me like, "if you have kids - god will support you and bless you to be able to pay for them." how can i think of mom and not have kids - lots of kids? i guess the bottom line is that i will have to wait until i talk to my wife about the kid situation.
"i guess the bottom line is that i will have to wait until i talk to my wife about the kid situation."
That made me laugh.
I think it is a lot of things. The world is a different place now than it was 25 years ago when I was born. Gone are the days of letting your kids go outside to play all day and never knowing where they are....unless you live on a farm in wyoming or something. I think that that makes a difference.
Also, people are getting married later...a lot of couples I know have fertitily problems and are hurt by people asking why they haven't started a family (when they have been trying for several years). I loved growing up in a big family, but I think it't between you, your spouse and the Lord on stuff like that. It's personal.
I remember someone calling me and lecturing me on why I wasn't pregnant yet when I had been married less than a year. This was hurtful because I was pregant (barely...but hadn't told people yet) and would have liked to be pregnant sooner--I think it is easy to judge someone when you don't know all of the facts.
I have a friend who had to space her kids out 4 years because of depression. There are so many reasons that I can think of.
I think that kids really are the greatest blessing. They do take a lot of work. People might think that they couldn't handle more kids. I don't know.
Abi
I have no memory of Mother and me at anytime before or since we were married ever discussing how many children we would have. I also have no memory of our ever worrying about the cost of having children. It just seemed like a given fact that we would find a way to take care of the children as they came because that is what we wanted.
I do, however, remember that Mother got a migraine headache one day not long after we became engaged when I told her I thought we should not wait to start our family. I, of course, had no idea what I was talking about at the time, and I'm quite certain that Mother didn't really understand what she was getting a headache over.
You all are to be commended for having any children. One child takes so much time and attention. I always thought Heavenly Father gave me so many children so that I would learn to be unselfish. Abi the same problems existed when we got married. A lot of our friends who waited at first and then decided they wanted children had a hard time having children when they wanted them. I think that is why Pres. Benson said to have your children early. I had no idea before Amy was born how much it would mean to me to be a mother. When we almost lost her at her premature birth I remember thinking, "This is so much more important than I thought it was." It meant so much to me to be a mother. If I had waited I might not have realized that and maybe we would have missed one of you. I remember Eliza wondered why I hadn't told her how hard it was-all the work of being a mother. I guess the work was so rewarding that I forgot to mention that it was hard. I was so tired at night. It seemed I worked until the minute I went to bed. I didn't want any child to miss the love or the teaching I could give them. We made it our first priority to teach you the gospel of Jesus Christ so that you would know you were a child of God. We knew that we were children raising children and that you would need to know how to talk to your perfect Father and rely on his teachings to get your best answers. He has known you much longer and loves you better and understands how you feel with a perfect understanding. We love you but he knows with a perfect understanding what is best for you When each child was born I felt the additional responsibility. I noticed every friend that came over. I wasn't one of these mothers who said "After you have 3 what's one more." I wanted each of you to know how special you were. We had no outside interest, no other friends. You are our world, our loves and our best friends. We love you better than you love us because we have served you, laughed with you and cried with and for you. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not thinking of your needs and your welfare. Thank you for trusting us enough to let us be your parents. Love, Mom
You all are to be commended for having any children. One child takes so much time and attention. I always thought Heavenly Father gave me so many children so that I would learn to be unselfish. Just when I would start to get comfortable we would have another baby and another adjustment and loose any time to ourselves. Abi the same problems existed when we got married with couples not being able to have children. A lot of our friends who waited at first and then decided they wanted children had a hard time having children when they wanted them. I think that is why Pres. Benson said to have your children early while a woman’s body is younger and stronger. I had no idea before Amy was born how much it would mean to me to be a mother. When we almost lost her at her premature birth I remember thinking, "This is so much more important than I ever thought it was." It meant so much to me to be a mother. If I had waited to have children I might not have realized that and maybe we would have missed one of you. I remember Eliza wondered why I hadn't told her how hard it was-all the work of being a mother. I guess the work was so rewarding that I forgot to mention that it was hard. I was so tired at night. It seemed I worked until the minute I went to bed. I didn't want any child to miss the love or the teaching I could give them. We made it our first priority to teach you the gospel of Jesus Christ so that you would know you were a child of God. We knew that we as your parents were inexperienced children who were trying to learn fast enough to teach and raise our own children. We knew that you would need to know how to talk to your perfect Heavenly Father and rely on his teachings to get your best answers. We made lots of mistakes but Heavenly Father doesn’t make mistakes. You can trust him completely. He has known you much longer and loves you better and understands how you feel with a perfect understanding. We love you but he knows with a perfect understanding what is best for you. When each child was born I felt the additional responsibility. I noticed every friend that came over. I wasn't one of these mothers who said "After you have 3 what's one more." I wanted each of you to know how special you were. We had no outside interest, no other friends. You are our best friends. We love you better than you love us because we have served you, laughed with you and cried with and prayed for you. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not thinking of your needs and your welfare. Thank you for trusting us enough to let us be your parents. Love, Mom
that was really sweet mom. It just goes to show how trully amazing you are. I love you
Soon after I delivered Elizabeth I was playing the piano and I paused for a second and turned around to look at Mark who was watching me. He said to me...I just have a feeling we won't have a lot of kids. Bewildered I said, "what makes you think that?"....he said, "I just don't know how many we can handle." Then I said, "well how many is not that many?" and he said, "I can't picture us having more than 8!" That is when I knew growing up in a big family had gotten to him. I was like 8!! That is a TON of kids! We still joke about that. I think Abi is right. The first year we were trying to have kids SO many people teased us about having them....I remember once a cousin told me that we should start having them and I wanted to scream "WE ARE TRYING!" Anyway, I feel so blessed to have the girls we have. Every child is a blessing. I don't know how Mom and Dad Ballstaedt did it, but part of me will always be envious that they welcomed that many children to earth. What a neat experience!
Mom is right, I did ask her why she didn't tell me how hard it was to have children. I always looked forward to being a mother and having children. It was such a shock in the hospital when I had Jacob. I was so emotional and thought I would have a nervous breakdown. BUT, it got better....and worse. I never thought I would have twelve children like mom. I also have never thought obout the money. For me it is all emotional, how much we can handle. I think what we can each handle is different. And it is not just a decison for me, it is a decision to make with your husband. I do however want to have all the children Heavenly Father wants me to have. I would hate to miss out on one of my kids.
Mom, what you wrote was so sweet--I hope you have that printed out or stored in your journal because I would like to keep that always.--I don't have a printer or I would print it myself.
I have never thought of the money with kids either--like Eliza said--the other demands of children are what I think about. They don't keep me from having children, but when I am 6 1/2months pregnant I wonder how I'm going to meet the demands of a newborn plus my other 3 little ones--and keep myself and husband healthy and sane at the same time!
That's why mom and dad are so special--because yes, mom,you are definitely unselfish---but I don't think it's because you had so many kids--you would have been that way anyway. For a lot of women twelve children wouldn't keep them unselfish--it would put them in a loony bin :) Thanks for giving up everything for us.
haha andrew i dont think you will have to worry about that
Post a Comment